The thing about loss; you will always feel it differently. Differently to the person next to you, differently dependent on who or what it is you feel that you lose.
It’s an empty feeling that can eat away at your purpose, your sense of who you are and what you want out of life if you’re not careful. It can strike you at any time and in a situation that would normally not phase you, cuts you down to a million pieces. Time changes everything so really all you have left is live for a particular moment, the past has played a part in where you are right now and the future is whatever you want of it, paved with infinite possibilities; it makes you feel like you are limitless, but the only control you have is of right now. Loss is an inevitable feeling, unfortunately we will all experience some sort of loss in our lives.
That’s the thing about strength. You can give up. Let your loss consume you, blame, hurt, take it out on other people, or push people away. Keeping your positivity doesn’t necessarily mean that you are happy and jovial all the time, but it means that even when things are difficult and it seems like there is no hope at all you push on. You can still be a caring person even when it seems like the world is full of people who don’t care about anyone but themselves. There are no excuses to be horrible, but that doesn’t mean hurt will subside and make you feel like you shouldn’t care. It’s easier not to care sometimes, but it is never worth it. There is beauty in people who can see the strength in themselves and others when they have every reason not to.
The past happened, if it sucks, you just have to accept that it did. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change it. You don’t have to forget it, but you need to learn from it. You have to endure the hard times, the loss, to truly relish the good times. There are two things that really define you throughout your life. Your patience when you have nothing and your attitude when you have everything.
Loss and hurt teach you more about the world than happiness ever could. This doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve or can’t attain ‘happiness’. Your state of mind is your happiness. When you realise that ‘happiness’ isn’t necessarily a tangible thing, you begin to focus more on how to remain positive when your world feels upside down.
“The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.” – Haldir in The Fellowship of the Ring, Lothlórien